Andrew Mitchell sacked by PM for splitting an infinitive at police officers


Pride’s Purge: A blog by Tom Pride ~ ‘Sarcastic, cynical, petty, vindictive and paranoid. But apart from that …’


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Sunday 23 September 2012

(Satire – barely)

The Prime Minister David Cameron has sought to refute accusations his party are out-of-touch snobs by cracking down hard on Andrew Mitchell, the Tory Party Chief Whip, for using a split infinitive during his tirade against police officers who were guarding Downing Street.
The change of heart comes after the MP for Sutton Coldfield admitted he had split the infinitive within earshot of the officers during the altercation when he allegedly said to them: 


You guys are supposed to fucking help us.”

Mr Cameron had initially stood by Mr Mitchell when it was first revealed he had sworn at the officers and called them ‘plebs’ but number 10 swiftly denounced his use of language when Mr Mitchell accepted that he had accidentally allowed himself to split the infinitive ‘to help‘ with the word ‘fucking‘ while addressing the officers.
Mr Cameron explained the reasons for the sudden about turn:

“It has become clear now that an openly split infinitive was used by Mr Mitchell – a situation which is completely unacceptable – and I would like to make it absolutely clear that this administration will not put up with any member of the government using such obscene language within earshot of hard-working police officers – even though they’re such plebs they probably don’t even know what a split infinitive is anyway.” 

Related articles by Tom Pride:

Cameron tells unemployed – “Stop whinging and get daddy to find you a job!”

Scandal as Topless and Legless Royalty Denied Benefits by DWP

Tory Modernisers Vow To Drag Party Into 19th Century

David Cameron To Tackle Bullingdon Club Binge Drinking Scandal

Genealogists Confirm David Cameron Is A Bastard

Is Cameron a Secret Stalinist? Or just a Toffee-Nosed Pillock?

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Tom Pride’s Purge

See also: Andrew Mitchell described armed officers as ‘plebs’ according to report 24/9/12





4 thoughts on “Andrew Mitchell sacked by PM for splitting an infinitive at police officers

  1. jed goodright says:

    this tribal stuff is all very well but it’s not helping the plight of disabled people – not because its not true but because it it only serves the veny ones splee – not change this fucking set up

  2. Terminator says:

    Remember his name and watch the politics around to see how long it is before he is given another job of a similar standing, I say 18 months to 2 years before they bring him back after they give him some work doing something else of course.

  3. jeffery davies says:

    another job in the pipe line for him wont be out for long perhaps incharge of the police look out officers who reported this as with this lot it come home to roost that they pointed a finger at one of them jeff3

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